twilight madness

Hm. I feel compelled to write about this, even though I also feel very sheepish and way too much like a giddy, hormone-addled teenager. My sister-in-law gave me the book, twilight, for Christmas, which I've been studiously avoiding, fearing that it would be just a poor substitute for the gaping hole left by the end of Harry Potter; supernatural powers, a love story, good triumphing over evil through self-sacrifice, but with vampires. I was wrong that it was a poor substitute, though my plot assessment wasn't too far off. D said "it's probably like Buffy without pop culture references." Yeah, less snarkiness but the same themes of desire and doomed love, dealing with all the mess of growing up, with the added desperation of wanting someone who should be your mortal enemy. Realizing that a person you thought the embodiment of perfection actually chooses you, above everyone else. 

To be totally honest, my initial interest in the book came from the casting for the movie, namely this young man:

Robert Pattinson, who played the ill-fated (but hot) Cedric Diggory in one of the HP movies, has grown up a bit, and now plays the role of Edward Cullen: a dreamy, intense, brooding, majorly hot vampire who falls in love with a human. 

See, I can't even describe one character without going all gooey. I feel like a stooge. 

So I read the first book, charged through the second and third while in Maine (losing much sleep and waking to constant musings on what I had read), and just finished the final book last night. And I saw the movie today with my sister-in-law. A little obsessed, aren't we? Yes. ok? 

The movie was really interesting to me, and not just because Edward is a little too gorgeous to be allowed. The movie captured the feeling of high school friendships, the entirely unspoken relationship between two introverted family members, and the feeling of isolation when you're an old soul in a teenager's body. The casting really was terrific as well, especially for Jacob, Bella's friend from the reservation who has a very large part in the next book. It's really going to be interesting, and I hope they don't get a crappy director to replace Catherine Hardwicke. She didn't like the short timetable for production, which I don't blame her for. I just hope they can get someone good. Sophia Coppola...?

I've been reading the first book to D while he works on the thousand things that need doing in our renovation-explosion. It's funny to hear his theories on things, character motivations and so forth. The books are not terribly great writing, but you wind up caring so much for the characters that it doesn't really matter if the writer can get repetitive. Sometimes the narrative switches to Jacob, and I admire how she can change the feeling and pacing of the writing to match his thoughts and personality. It's compelling and addictive, though I wish heartily it were otherwise. 

When I first started reading the book, I felt really depressed. There's a whole phenomenon surrounding Edward, millions of girls looking to him as their ideal guy. He's a protector, he's complimentary and sincere, he's observant of feelings and moods, and is able to control himself even when his feelings are more than passionate. And mysterious as well. Great, right? I just was sad because it seems like a guy needs to be undead, or live over a hundred years ago, to be a really awesome, manly love interest. Most of the guys in contemporary movies are brainless hedonists who are lucky enough to find a woman who can lower her standards to be with him. They're man-sized boys with no sense of leadership or responsibility, no idea what it means to have an intellectual connection with a woman. And then the women are so busy eliminating all the mystery they possess, to keep themselves from loneliness, and then are surprised that the guys lose interest in them. They stubbornly cling to their independence, not letting anyone fight for them and so no one does. A lonely, bitter existence. So here comes Edward, a man from another time who has more than an idea of the right way of going about things--he acts on those ideas. And everyone swoons. I'm not surprised, though I wish there was a way to say to these girls, "quit taking suggestive photos of yourself for your facebook page, being coarse and trying to be one of the guys, treat yourself with the respect that you want from everyone else, and then maybe someone will notice." And tell guys to just read the book and take some notes. "What would Edward do?" someone said, as an answer to a difficult relationship. Funny, but still sad to me. 

The best thing about these books is knowing that I have my own Edward, in a way. I am beyond grateful, awed really, even after all these years of being together, that D chose me. He's not perfect, and who would know that better than me, but even so. I could have settled for a very mundane, painful, and miserable life with someone else, and instead I have someone who I had no hope of ever capturing his attention. It's staggering. Even after all the butterflies and disbelief of those early days, I'm still amazed. It gives me hope that other people could find someone for themselves as well, that it's not just fiction.